The Impossible Has Happened...

Indian movies hit bedrock some time back. But now, they've gone straight through the core of the earth, through that stupid Russian "sounds from hell" place, and broken through on the other side. Typically thought to be China, new satellite footage from Nasa has revealed that its actually Upper Mongolia! (Link ... http://www.nasa.gov/7tstarsat/imagery/new/indianmovies/drilling/otherside/satimage.jpg)
As many of us know, Indian movies are extremely poor quality, filthy pieces of shit that can barely pass for an actual movie. This wasn't always the case, because when the industry was being created, many of the actors came from theater and actually possessed real talent. This of course also goes for creative scriptwriters and directors and all. Over time, however, this industry kept degrading itself further and further to appeal more to the Indian masses. That there, ladies and gents, are the keywords "INDIAN masses." Looking back, say, into the 50s and 60s, there was an abundance of quality filmmaking (at least far more so than today), which proceeded to a focus on action-thriller type movies with romance thrown in for good measure in the 70s, the Amitabh Bachchan age. The Indian public liked, and got used to being entertained in a larger-than-life way, and the 80s brought about fairytale love stories, so-called "chocolate heroes" and the like. Anil Kapoor, Jackie Shroff and all that made up this era. Remember ek do teen? At this point, Indian filmmakers started relying on the "formula." This would include hiring popular actors and actresses, pairing them against popular or controversial people, and fusing this with a storyline that wouldn't deviate very far from Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (a TRUE masterpiece, if there ever was one). Immensely superstitious producers and directors started believed that the names, or at least the first initials of the actor, actress, or movie title had something to do with their success, and so the age of Madhuri, Mahima (whose real name is actually Renu, but was changed because Subhash Ghai believed that the letter "M" will bring success) and the K's ... we all know Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, and of course, all the TV shows ... KKusum (2 K's !!!), Kyon Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, Kahin Diya Jale Kahin Jiya, Kutumb, Kamal, Kehta Hai Dil, Kalash, Kohinoor, Khidchi, and of course KOUN BANEGA CROREPATI (and KBC TWOOOO). In this age known as the 90s, filmmakers (if we can call them that) tried to change the formula a little here and there, but it was basically the same. After DDLJ, the formula changed a little to feel-good type movies, and continued on for an unusually long time. This unusually long time that I speak of is common throughout these Indian movies generations that I have mentioned. It is the period is which the formula starts failing over time, and must be reinvented to keep the industry alive. Only this time, the invention has gone wrong. Filmmakers have long known that the Indian audience, of course dominated by men, is a particularly horny one, and as such, has tried to appeal to the Indian phallus in many ways. We all know that women in Indian movies barely play a part other than to provide phallic stimulation. The one or two times they do, like in Kaun or other Urmila movies, they are used as a marketing ploy - "Come look at my movie! I have dared to be different yaar!" (in a heavy Indian accent of course). Like shown in "Bollywood Calling," a particularly good movie that sheds light on this industry, most actors LOVE to say "this movie is umm ... really different. I have played a very different role in this movie." So whats all this come to now? In more and more movies, directors are trying to push the limit of acceptable by the Indian censor board in an attempt to appeal to those Indian masses we talked about earlier. A number of directors are lobbying for nudity in movies in the 21st century, and they might just get it. What will happen then? Will Indian movies turn into full-blown porn? I think that India, like so many other countries, needs to face the music, and realize that it is a nation of horny ass men! Legalize porn, strip clubs and the like, increase literacy, and keep Bollywood separate from the porn industry, cuz its morphing into one at an alarming rate.
I find it both interesting and surprising that people of Indian/Paki/other Desi countries - origin in my country, Canada, and abroad (excluding India) like Indian movies. As should be obvious, Indian movies are geared for the Indian masses, otherwise known as TAPORIs. They don't care about crappy acting, screenplay, direction or anything like that. They just count on entertainment value, which I'll admit, is extant in some movies, but usually not. Its also true that whats entertaining to one group of individuals may not be to another. How many of you guys actually understand those lame jokes in so-called comedy (Indian) movies? Does anyone actually know what a ration card is? TAPORIs can't tell when the "hero" takes off in a 747-400 and lands in a short-range 737-400(designed for short flights , a LOT smaller, VERY different looking) 13 hours later. Nor can they tell when they drive off in a Ferrari F360 and show up in a Miata (just cuz its red), and producers and directors know this! Relatively poor individuals love the idea of escapism and an air-conditioned/heated theater to get away from the daily grind, which might I add, is much worse than the rest of us are used to. You guys in Brampton are complaining about your transit system, try a fucking rickshaw to work! You guys working at Gemma Communications are bitching about the 12 dollar an hour pay? Thats literally a month's earnings to a farmer in UP, Bihar and Bengal! Everyone's talking about the new face of India, the economy boom, Bangalore and greater actual GDP growth than China, but don't forget that India isn't industrialized just yet. India may have the second largest bank in the world, some exceptional educational institutes, booming business and more, but it also has the world's biggest slums, the biggest mafia in the world and the second-biggest sex trade in the world.